Annette and the Miserable, Crazy, Nasty, Ugly Monday Morning

If you've ever had any grade schoolers in your house, you've probably read (many times) Judith Viorst's classic, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. With my apologies to Judith and to those who really do have serious problems in their life, here's my own personal version.

Because of all the thunder, lightening, and storms, I didn't sleep very much last night, which meant that Henry didn't either. When I half-woke from my brief, but deep stupor, after awhile I realized that it was much lighter outside than it normally is when we get up. I looked at my clock and realized it was 6:45--about 45 minutes later than we were supposed to get up. Something had happened to the alarm. After realizing just how late we all were, Henry got up for the first shower because he had to take Jonathan to driver's ed, and they needed to leave by 7:30. I could tell it was going to be a miserable, crazy, nasty, ugly Monday morning.

As I made the bed and wrapped my mind around what needed to happen, I started to wonder if I would be able to get ready on time for my mammogram, scheduled for 8:00. An 8:00 Monday morning mammogram is not the best way to start the week already, but thinking that I might have to postpone to another day was somehow worse.

I think I'll move to Tahiti.

Jonathan had gone to the basement to sleep to escape the flashing and booming of the lightning and thunder. I went down to wake him, thinking he possibly slept past his alarm too. When I told him it was time to get up, he snarled at me because the alarm he had set hadn't gone off quite yet.

I showered and got ready pretty quickly. Katie's future Cornerstone roommate had come to stay for a couple of days, and they were using the bathroom--and Jonathan couldn't get in to get ready. The ensuing chaos was more than I could handle, so I went downstairs to grab some toast and a banana. Someone had changed the setting on the toaster so that my "toast" ended up being tannish, slightly warm bread. There was no coffee. I could tell that it was going to be a miserable, crazy, nasty, ugly Monday morning.

When I got to the lab for my mammogram, the grouchy lady at the front desk took my name, entered it in her computer, and scoldingly told me I was supposed to be there at 7:30. "That's not what my calendar said," I wittily shot back. "I wouldn't make an appoinment for that early." And I wouldn't. She told me if I hung around, maybe they could squeeze me in--no pun intended. I told her no thanks--I needed to get to work and I would reschedule. Maybe--if I'm lucky--I can get another Monday morning appointment.

I NEEDED coffee. I went across the street to Horrocks, a market where I was sure I had seen a coffee bar. When I went to the coffee area, a sign said that the coffee was complimentary for customers. Not feeling quite right about walking in, taking free coffee, and then walking out, I asked the deli lady if I could buy some. "Coffee's free," she said. I grabbed a nice cup of French Vanilla and three peaches to soothe my guilty conscience.

It was a miserable, crazy, nasty, ugly Monday morning.

When I got to work, I went to the ladies' room. I looked in the mirror as I washed my hands and realized that my eyes looked strange--washed out. I realized I had put on all my makeup except my mascara, an event that may have now occurred twice in all my make-up wearing years.

When I get home, I thought, I'm going to pack for Tahiti.

I have to say, though, that with the exception of AOL not loading my emails properly and my fighting through the haze of fatigue to do my work, the rest of the day wasn't so bad. Of course when I went to Walmart at lunchtime to pick up a few things I needed, they didn't have my brand of deodorant, so for the first time in my deodorant-using experience, I'm trying a new brand.

I wonder if they have Soft and Dry in Tahiti.