An Open Letter

To Fashion Designers, Clothing Buyers, and Any Others Who Are Responsible for the Pathetic Selection of Women's Clothing in Department Stores Today:

I've just wasted three hours of my life in another futile attempt to buy clothes. And you would think that after so many such futile attempts, I would give up—except for one thing. My personal code of ethics—and the law—require me to wear clothes when I'm in public. The only thing that keeps me coming back is this: my desire not to be naked.

So here's a question for those of you who are making, designing, and selling clothes for women: do you have any idea what most women look like, what sizes they are, and what they want to wear? Life has taken its toll. Age, babies, the occasional order of French fries and desserts, and too little time and money to spare to spend it at the gym have left us wanting to dress in more than a piece of thin knit material that becomes translucent when stretched across a body that admittedly weighs 10 to 20 pounds more than it should. And while some of us have just given in and purchased the paper-thin garments you offer, others of us would prefer not to go around looking like one of those Pillbury biscuit cans that has just popped open, with the dough hanging out the edges. And even though we may be a little pudgy, we would still like to look nice and feel attractive. And I would be very happy to buy clothing that would achieve that—if only you would make it.

Another thing—why do you make twenty varieties of the same three styles for years on end? I have enough of the one-piece- that-looks-like-two shirt and vest sets. I'm still wearing the same ones that I bought several years ago when the style became popular, and I don't want any more. It's time to move on. And what's the deal with all of the cardigans again? I'm sick to death of layering—either because everything I buy is cut so low that modesty demands I wear something underneath or simply because the style requires it. And I WILL NOT wear leggings. And most of you out there past the age of 25 shouldn't be wearing them either. Give it up with the leggings!

And while I realize that this is a world gone crazy casual, there are still a few of us out there who are expected to wear something a little nicer than jeans and a hoodie to the office. I'm good with that; in fact, I prefer it. And if you were to pull out some of your old catalogs from a few years ago you would find an article called a skirt. I like wearing those too on occasion. Perhaps you could spend some of the energy directed toward coming up with another pattern for one-piece shirt and vest sets toward revisiting the skirt.

Clothing manufacturing industry, you are a disappointment to me. And yet I need you. And, believe it or not, you need me. Have you ever gone into a store at the close of a season and seen the racks and racks of leftover clothing that is now marked 75 percent off? Think about why that may be for a couple of minutes. While I don't think a government takeover of the fashion industry would solve the problem, something must be done. Soon. My clothes are wearing out.