Wild

At age 26, Cheryl Strayed was a mess. Four years earlier, her 45-year-old mother had died quite suddenly of lung cancer (seven weeks after being diagnosed), and Cheryl's grief had sent her spiraling downward. She had married at 19, and  in her despair, she turned to extramarital sex and heroin, hoping to numb the pain. Eventually, she and her husband divorced. She ended up aborting a child she conceived as a result of a sexual encounter. In the wake of Cheryl's mother's death, her family, which consisted of her stepdad, brother, and sister, disintegrated. She had bottomed out.

Having never hiked in her life, the answer for her was to hike the grueling, physically demanding Pacific Crest Trail, which started, for her, in southern California and ended at the Bridge of the Gods, near Portland, Oregon. So in 1994, Cheryl, completely inexperienced and unprepared for what she would face, set out to cover 1100 miles in 94 days--alone. Wild is her account of her life before and during her PCT hike.

Interestingly, I found Cheryl's story to be an anti-Pilgrim's Progress. Both Cheryl and Christian (of Pilgrim's Progress) begin their journeys in the City of Destruction. Both carry heavy burdens on their backs. Cheryl carries her backpack, which she names Monster, filled with some things she needs and many things she doesn't. When she begins her journey, she can barely lift it, and eventually a more seasoned hiker she meets along the way forces her to get rid of the things she doesn't need, including a huge pack of condoms. Both Cheryl and Christian are in need of salvation, and while Christian finds it at the cross, where his burden falls off his back and rolls down to the bottom of the hill, Cheryl seeks it in herself, in confronting her rage at her mother's death and pushing herself physically to make it through rigorous terrain, rain, snow, heat, past bears, charging bulls, ants, snakes, and even a couple scary humans.

But at the end of her journey, Cheryl still carries Monster on her back. It's lighter, and she's stronger, but, nonetheless, Monster is still there. One reviewer noted that while Cheryl seems to feel remorse for her actions, she never really is sorry for the terrible things she's done. In her own words:

"What if I forgave myself? I thought. What if I forgave myself even though I'd done something I shouldn't have? What if I was a liar and a cheat and there was no excuse for what I'd done other than because it was what I wanted and needed to do? What if I was sorry, but if I could go back in time I wouldn't do anything differently than I had done? What if I'd actually wanted to **** every one of those men? What if heroin taught me something? What if yes was the right answer instead of no? What if what made me do all those things everyone thought I shouldn't have done was what also had got me here? What if I was never redeemed? What if I already was?” 

Ultimately, Christian arrives at the Celestial City, the dwelling place of God, and Cheryl arrives at the Bridge of the Gods, which spans the Columbia River near Portland, Oregon. Eventually she remarries, has two children, becomes a bestselling author, and writes an advice column called "Dear Sugar." Cheryl chose the last name "Strayed" at the time of her divorce because she says that its definitions fit her life: to move about aimlessly in search of something, to wander from the proper path. Unlike Christian, who follows a path that leads him to salvation in Christ, Cheryl moves aimlessly in search of something and thinks she finds salvation in herself. And yet, how can the problem (herself) possibly be the solution at the same time?

It's an interesting read in many ways. Strayed writes beautifully about her life on the trail, the wonderful things she sees, the people she meets, and the way she copes with the challenges of living in the wilderness. Her story is adventurous and fascinating. The account of  a gratuitous sexual encounter she has on the trail (Strayed seems fairly sex obsessed) disappointed me because I thought this was a serious account of a person's earnest search for peace and meaning. Including this incident in the book made me think that the author was anticipating a movie deal. And so she now has one. While I marveled at the author's perseverance and courage, I felt a sense of sadness at the end of the book that this journey had not led her to the answers to grief and despair that would set her on a proper path and bring an end to her aimless wandering.




  

His Speech Reminded Me of . . .

Much discussion in the media this week of  the president's inaugural address and just which well-respected historical figure he was channeling. Chris Matthews heard Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address (of course), and there were others who mentioned Lincoln. Another commentator called the president "a liberal Reagan," and one blogger even noted a strange echoing of Neville Chamberlain with the use of the phrase "peace in our time."

I've read the speech and marvel at the brazenness. I've been reading 10 Books That Screwed Up the World by Benjamin Wiker (I recommend it, by the way), and so when I read the president's speech, this is what came to mind. The emphases are mine.


Barack Obama:

"But we have always understood that when times change, so must we; that fidelity to our founding principles requires new responses to new challenges; that preserving our individual freedoms ultimately requires collective action. For the American people can no more meet the demands of today’s world by acting alone than American soldiers could have met the forces of fascism or communism with muskets and militias. No single person can train all the math and science teachers we’ll need to equip our children for the future, or build the roads and networks and research labs that will bring new jobs and businesses to our shores. Now, more than ever, we must do these things together, as one nation, and one people."

Karl Marx:

“Society does not consist of individuals, but expresses the sum of interrelations, the relations within which these individuals stand.” 

Barack Obama:

"For our journey is not complete until our wives, our mothers, and daughters can earn a living equal to their efforts."

Karl Marx:

“Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex, the ugly ones included.”

“Social progress can be measured by the social position of the female sex.”

Barack Obama:

"For we, the people, understand that our country cannot succeed when a shrinking few do very well and a growing many barely make it. We believe that America’s prosperity must rest upon the broad shoulders of a rising middle class." 

Karl Marx:

“The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles.”

“The world will be for the common people, and the sounds of Happiness will reach even the deepest springs.” 

Barack Obama:

"We understand that outworn programs are inadequate to the needs of our time. We must harness new ideas and technology to remake our government, revamp our tax code, reform our schools, and empower our citizens with the skills they need to work harder, learn more, and reach higher."

Karl Marx:

“Philosophers have tried to describe the world--the point is to change it.” 

Just interesting.

David Murray: 10 Reasons to Confiscate Your Kids' Phones

An excellent blog post from Dr. Murray on how a parent who truly understands what is best for his or her children manages their cell phone--and social media--usage. As he points out, it is essential that we make "this wonderful technology a servant rather than a master." Children who learn to "master their cell phone . . . will stand out in their generation in so many positive ways."

Arrival at the Celestial City

The obituary notice for much-loved and well-respected former Cedarville professor, whom we knew as "Mr." Grier:

GRIER (Rockford) James Murray Grier, Th.D., age 80. Pilgrim James arrived at the Celestial City on January 9, 2013. He was born in Staten Island, NY to James Murray and Mary Helen (Hannah) Grier. While Jim was growing up, his father pastored at South Baptist Church of Tottenville/Staten Island, NY. He earned his B.Th. from Baptist Bible College, M.Div. from Grace Theological Seminary, Th.M. from Westminster Theological Seminary, and Th.D. from Grace Theological Seminary. Dr. Grier taught and preached extensively across the United States, in Canada, Hungary, the United Kingdom, and Zambia, pastored two congregations, served for 16 years as Executive Vice President and Academic Dean at Grand Rapids Theological Seminary of Cornerstone University, was Chairman of the Evangelical Seminary Dean’s Council (ESDC) 1993–1998, consulted pastors for more than 50 years while advising numerous hospital boards on medical ethics, was a highly sought after conference speaker on philosophical theology and Christian worldview across the globe, and was the distinguished Professor of Philosophical Theology at Grand Rapids Theological Seminary (GRTS) in Grand Rapids, Michigan. His publications include The Relation of the Law to Christ, Demonstrating Truth in Our Lives, Doing Theology in the Context of Church Ministry, and Calvinistic Philosophy. Before coming to Grand Rapids Theological Seminary in 1982, he taught at Cedarville College (now Cedarville University) as a Professor of Philosophy (1969–1982) and served administratively in various roles. Beyond GRTS and Cedarville College, Dr. Grier had been a visiting or adjunct professor at Asia Biblical Theological Seminary, Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary, and London Reformed Baptist Seminary. Since 1978, he had been an Adjunct Professor at Grace Theological Seminary while holding a similar position since 1984 at Evangelical Baptist Seminary of Quebec. He also served two years as the Acting Academic Dean of Grand Rapids Bible College (Cornerstone University) from 1985–1986. His very first and final sermons were in the church that his father served for 47 years in Tottenville/Staten Island, NY. His various professional memberships were The Evangelical Theological Society (ETS) and the Evangelical Philosophical Society. His philanthropic endeavors included work at Home of Hope and Blodgett Hospital. Jim is survived by his wife of 58 years, Shirley (Stewart) Grier whom he married on July 30, 1954, his son and his son’s wife, Dr. Kevin Blaine Grier and Dr. Robin Grier; and his sister, Joyce Elizabeth Grier, as well as several cousins, nieces and nephews. Memorial service will be at Grace Community Church, 3500 New Holland, Hudsonville, MI on Monday at 7:00 pm. In lieu of flowers, contributions can be made to the “James Murray Grier Scholarship Fund” at Grand Rapids Theological Seminary.

Because he accepted a position with Grand Rapids Theological Seminary in 1982, halfway through my Cedarville years, I had only one class with him, Introduction to Philosophy. But my first husband, Jonathan Selden, knowing that Dr. Grier had accepted another position, managed to take every Grier class except one (and memory fails me what that one class was). While I didn't learn much directly from Dr. Grier, I benefited from the instruction that Jon had received and passed onto me.

I didn't know Dr. Grier as well as Jon and his friends; nonetheless, our paths continued to cross on occasion after I graduated from Cedarville. A short time after Jon and I had moved on to Chicago after finishing our master's degrees, a fellow Cedarville alum, a close friend of Jon's, who had also been a student of Dr. Grier committed suicide. Dr. Grier was called upon to preach at his funeral. We were devastated, of course, but I will never forget what happened when Dr. Grier took his place at the podium. Before anything, he said, "Some scripture for our comfort," and for what seemed a very long time, he quoted from memory various scripture passages, without comment. He clearly understood that for those of us present who knew Christ, only his words would bring us relief from this painful experience. I was also moved when, in 1996, Dr. Grier came to the funeral home to express his sympathy when Jon died. It had been years since he and Dr. Grier had had any contact, so I was somewhat surprised to see him.I have recently learned that Jon and his friends were the only students of Grier ever to honor him with a festschrift.

I've had two occasions in the last five years or so to hear Dr. Grier preach: once while I was working at Discovery House Publishers he spoke during chapel, and a couple of years ago, he spoke at the Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary Conference. On both occasions he spoke about heaven, about leaving this world behind. At the conference, Dr. Grier was ill and suffering from shingles, but he spoke passionately from Revelation about the vanities of Babylon, and how it would all be gone one day when there was a new heaven and a new earth. I learned today from a person who attended his funeral last night that one of the speakers said that he had told his young son that Dr. Grier had died. His son said, "You mean that man who preaches about heaven like he's already been there?" And it was clear when he preached about heaven that he was eager to go there, to meet in person the one he had been talking about for so many years.

I also remember that this great man with so much understanding once told our Intro to Philosophy class that his favorite hymn was "Jesus Loves Me" because the song explains that we know this because the Bible tells us so and not because of some subjective human experience. Today Dr. Grier knows that Jesus loves him because the Bible tells him so, and because he is with him, and his faith has been made sight.

What Pastors Shouldn't Tell Their Wives

An excellent post from Dr. R. Scott Clark of Westminster Seminary, California, on why it is important for pastors not to share with their wives the private matters he is entrusted with.. While the lessons of this blog post are most obviously applicable to pastors and their wives and families, the principles here would apply to any church officer who is obligated to keep information confidential from members of the congregation, and not just their wives and families. As Clark reminds us, "It's a matter of integrity."

Writing as an elder's wife, I can say that it is difficult to know that there is a part of my husband's life that must be kept private from me, and yet I understand that this is necessary for the good of the church--and for my own good. He is the one who has been called to the task of leadership in the church, and not me. I asked him once if it was difficult for him, having to remain silent on things that probably at times are troubling and stressful. He explained that he was able to share these things with the other men with whom he served, so that he wasn't carrying them alone. It is a wise way to understand this responsibility.

Those who have ever learned something disappointing about another person understand that it is much easier to serve others in the church when we don't know the details of their "issues." Also, we can't be guilty of gossiping about and slandering others if private matters are kept private. In this context, ignorance is bliss. Much wisdom here from Dr. Clark.

Understanding the Word "Felon"

As an editor, I'm always concerned with the accurate use of words. It's my job to make sure that writers are using correct terms to communicate their ideas. In recent months, I've heard the word "felon" tossed around and wondered, since this is a legal term, exactly what the definition of "felon" is. A little Google research brought me to Nolo's Plain English Law Dictionary, which defines "felon" as "a person who has been convicted of a felony, which is a serious crime punishable by imprisonment or, for the most serious felonies, death."

And what, exactly, is a "felony" then? "In the United States, where the felony/misdemeanor distinction is still widely applied, the federal government defines a felony as a crime punishable by death or imprisonment in excess of one year."

So my brief research would indicate that to call someone who has not been formally charged, tried, and convicted of a felony a "felon" is premature. It all ties in with the legal principle (which is based on the principle of biblical law--see Deuteronomy 19:15 for one example) that a person is innocent until proven guilty. To publicly denounce such a person as a felon would be slanderous, and slander, as many of us know, is defined as "the utterance of false charges or misrepresentations which defame and damage another's reputation." Christians, especially, need to understand this because they would not want to be found guilty of slander, a breach of the ninth commandment.

My research has demonstrated that in the context in which I've been hearing the word "felon," it has been used inaccurately, as it has been directed against a person who has not been formally charged, tried, and convicted of a felony--one who has been interviewed by legal authorities who have determined that any charges against this person are baseless. Therefore, legal authorities are taking no action because there is no evidence to suggest he or she has committed a felony or done anything illegal at all.

As Christians, we must choose our words carefully to ensure that they accurately reflect the truth so that we are not guilty of breaking the ninth commandment and damaging another person's reputation. Someone, in our opinion, may exhibit poor judgment or take an action that we dislike, but that doesn't make him or her a felon, and it certainly is not a basis for publicly defaming him or her.

From the Westminster Larger Catechism, questions 143-145:

Question 143: Which is the ninth commandment?

Answer: The ninth commandment is, Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

Question 144: What are the duties required in the ninth commandment?

Answer: The duties required in the ninth commandment are, the preserving and promoting of truth between man and man, and the good name of our neighbor, as well as our own; appearing and standing for the truth; and from the heart, sincerely, freely, clearly, and fully, speaking the truth, and only the truth, in matters of judgment and justice, and in all other things: Whatsoever; a charitable esteem of our neighbors; loving, desiring, and rejoicing in their good name; sorrowing for, and covering of their infirmities; freely acknowledging of their gifts and graces, defending their innocency; a ready receiving of a good report, and unwillingness to admit of an evil report, concerning them; discouraging talebearers, flatterers, and slanderers; love and care of our own good name, and defending it when need requires; keeping of lawful promises; studying and practicing of: Whatsoever things are true, honest, lovely, and of good report.

Question 145: What are the sins forbidden in the ninth commandment?

Answer: The sins forbidden in the ninth commandment are, all prejudicing the truth, and the good name of our neighbors, as well as our own, especially in public judicature; giving false evidence, suborning false witnesses, wittingly appearing and pleading for an evil cause, outfacing and overbearing the truth; passing unjust sentence, calling evil good, and good evil; rewarding the wicked according to the work of the righteous, and the righteous according to the work of the wicked; forgery, concealing the truth, undue silence in a just cause, and holding our peace when iniquity calls for either a reproof from ourselves, or complaint to others; speaking the truth unseasonably, or maliciously to a wrong end, or perverting it to a wrong meaning, or in doubtful and equivocal expressions, to the prejudice of truth or justice;speaking untruth, lying, slandering, backbiting, detracting, tale bearing, whispering, scoffing, reviling, rash, harsh, and partial censuring; misconstructing intentions, words, and actions; flattering, vainglorious boasting, thinking or speaking too highly or too meanly of ourselves or others; denying the gifts and graces of God; aggravating smaller faults;hiding, excusing, or extenuating of sins, when called to a free confession;unnecessary discovering of infirmities; raising false rumors, receiving and countenancing evil reports, and stopping our ears against just defense; evil suspicion; envying or grieving at the deserved credit of any, endeavoring or desiring to impair it, rejoicing in their disgrace and infamy; scornful contempt, fond admiration; breach of lawful promises; neglecting such things as are of good report, and practicing, or not avoiding ourselves, or not hindering: What we can in others, such things as procure an ill name.

Q&A a Day

One of my favorite Christmas gifts this year is the journal pictured below that has already been a lot of fun. Q&A a Day asks a new question each day of the year and provides space for only the briefest answer. Each year for five years you answer the same question, and at the end of five years, you have a record of your thoughts and activities for the last five years.

The New Year's Eve question asked what my favorite memory of the past year was. Since I have at least three very special people in my life, I couldn't pick just one. So I picked one memory for each of the people who are most dear to me.

My favorite memory with my husband was a week we spent back in August in Traverse City. Just the two of us in the dwindling days of summer. We stayed at a small cottage that we had rented the previous year, and as soon as we walked in the door, I immediately felt happy and relaxed. It's one of those kinds of places. It's small and a little rustic. A screened-in porch looks out over a small inland lake. The yard is filled with tall pines, and everything smells fresh and summery. The kids were welcome to come with us, but Katie was finishing up her photojournalism internship, and Jonathan thought he had nailed down a job and shouldn't be away. And while I love my kids and would have enjoyed having them, I must say that it was a lovely week for just the two of us. We'd have a leisurely time in the mornings, eating breakfast and then sitting out on the porch reading books while the sun grew warmer. We'd stop now and then to watch the bird activity in the trees in the yard or out on the lake. The weather was perfect all week, and we filled the afternoons with hiking, canoeing, taking a sailboat cruise in Charlevoix, and eating at restaurants we wouldn't have eaten at if there had been four of us. Not all couples are at a place in their lives where they can get away for an entire week by themselves, but if you are, I encourage you to go create what will be one of your favorite memories for 2013. 

Katie gave me my favorite memory this fall. I had purchased some beautiful mums for the front porch--the prettiest color of crimson I had ever seen. I placed the planter them in a little plant stand, but it wasn't quite as big as the stand, so there was "wiggle room." I don't remember what had happened that day, but I do remember that it had been one of those crazy days filled with minor frustrations. It had also been a windy day. I pulled into our driveway after work, and there was my planter of beautiful mums upside down. Ugh. Katie followed me into the house a few minutes later and asked, "What happened to your flowers?" I told her, "It's the perfect ending to the way this day has been." Henry and I had to go out for awhile, but when we returned, there was a whole new display of mums with one large planter and three small ones around it that had been left by my lovely mum fairy, Katie. What a sweet gesture of love--and what a great memory to have just weeks before my girl got married and became a real grown-up.

Jonathan gave me my favorite memory last spring during baseball season (I can't believe I'm saying that; I'm a sports anti-fan). I admire people who aren't afraid to put themselves out there and try something new, which is exactly what Jonathan did. All through school, he had never played any sports. But at his small, Christian high school, the teams were desperate for players, so there were no cuts, and everyone was welcome to join the team. His junior year, he joined the basketball team and then the baseball team. In both sports, he spent a lot of time on the bench, but he was a winner because he got himself into great physical condition and learned a lot about working hard, pushing himself to try new things, and being part of a team. This past year--his senior year--he played basketball and baseball again, but in baseball, he played most of the season. His junior year the baseball team had been made up of  players from two small schools, so there were lots of players. This past year, the baseball team was made up of just players from West Michigan Lutheran, and most of them were fairly young and inexperienced--and they had just enough to make a team. Jonathan struggled for most of the season, learning and improving, like the other players, and losing more games than winning, but finally, in his last game, something clicked. They were playing against the team they had played with the previous year, and they really wanted to win. Jonathan was playing right field, as usual, and he had been steadily improving at it all season. At bat, he finally connected with the ball and hit a pop fly that was caught, but none of the fans cared because we were so thrilled that he finally hit the ball. The team made an amazing comeback and beat their rivals, and Jonathan contributed by catching a couple of pop flies to right field. Afterward, during a team picture that Katie took, the other guys on the team pulled water bottles out and poured them on Jonathan--the only senior on the team. It was a great game for him to end his high school career with, and we all had fun watching the guys honor Jonathan by soaking him.

So 2012 was an eventful year for our family: Jonathan graduated from high school and started college, and Katie and Ryan got married in November. Many changes, many memories. It will be interesting to review my journal eventually and trace the providences, thoughts, and events of five years.