Mother-Daughter Bonding

This was a night that Katie and I will always remember. I know this will probably come as a shock to you, dear readers, but I was (emphasis on the was) a Spiderman fan--until tonight. I'm not usually excited about action/adventure/superhero movies, but I've really enjoyed the nerdy, but always sweet Peter Parker. And as far as superhero movies go, Spiderman 2 was intelligent, insightful--almost literary. And Katie felt the same way. So we had eagerly awaited the opening of Spiderman 3, and tonight was the night. And even though the movie was less than intelligent, insightful--almost literary, we certainly got our eight dollars' worth.

We settled into our seats, and eagerly awaited the start of the movie. The theater was not overly crowded, so we had plenty of room. The previews began, and Katie and I both murmured, "I love the previews." And we do. When the previews for Pirates of the Carribean came on, we noticed a little boy several rows up raising his arms in the air. Katie and I smiled and noted how cute it was that he was so excited for Pirates, and yet the arm waving continued for the next two hours. I guess he was excited about life in general.

The previews ended, and we settled in for the movie, but then we were treated to a live version of the manager giving the speech about turning off the cell phones, no text messaging, etc. We both thought this was a little strange, but the waving-arms kid continued to be excited.

I had read a couple of reviews of the movie, and so I was aware that this third installment had not achieved the greatness of the second movie. And yet to see it all unfolding on the big screen was a necessary experience in order to appreciate just how bad this movie was. From the first few notes of MJ's singing debut on Broadway (was Kirsten Dunst trying to sing badly because the critics would pan MJ's performance--if so, she deserves an Oscar); to Peter's strange transformation into what Katie says is an "emo" style with hair hanging strangely in his face and moves that would seem to belong in Saturday Night Fever; to the bizarre villain Sandman (which resulted in the ever memorable line, "Look out!" It's the Sandman!" to which I mentally replied, What's he going to do? Put them all to sleep?". When he caught on fire, my intelligent daughter acurately predicted that one strategy would be to turn him into glass and break him. I see film writing in her future.

And yet with all of this, the audience provided yet more entertainment. About halfway through the movie, a man in the row behind us started snoring loudly. And he just kept on. The teenage couple sitting directly in front of him was annoyed. In an attempt to arouse the sleeper, the young guy slammed his coat down on the chair. The sleeper moved a bit, but continued on. Finally, the guy (more a hero to me now than Spidey) yelled loudly, "Dude, wake up!" And he did--briefly. But the Sandman must have attacked, because soon the theater was resounding with his snores. Young guy finally got the manager, who spoke to snoring man, who didn't snore the rest of the movie.

At one point, we had excited boy up front, snoring man behind us to the right, and then a little kid started crying behind us to the left. Katie then uttered the funniest line of the night (which, sadly I can't repeat here--but rest assured, it wasn't profane or obscene), which sent us both into that laughter that you often experience in church when you're a little kid and you absolutely MAY NOT laugh. Tears were running down our faces as we painfully restrained ourselves.

Peter Parker poignantly reminded us at the end of the movie that we can always choose to do right (I'm not sure how theologically accurate that one is), and Katie and I heaved a sigh of relief as we headed for--where else?--the ladies' room. And to top everything off, in the one cubicle that I chose of how many? twenty? the toilet had overflowed and, of course, I was wearing sandals.

I can't think of a better way to spend Mother's Day Eve. I can hear us in Mother's Days to come: "Remember when we went to see Spiderman 3?"