Adopt a Single Parent Family

Single parenting has been (and continues to be) one of the greatest challenges I could have imagined. Even though I'm a veteran, with eleven years' experience to my credit, some weeks I feel a little more "single parenty" than others--with this week being one of those weeks. There are no prep courses for single parenting, no boot camps, and yet the rigors of the experience are demanding and relentless. I'm no sissy--I've survived a graduate program, teaching junior high English, working the tomato line at Campbell Soup Company (that's another blog posting), and doing data entry for six months at an insurance company in Chicago--but nothing could have prepared me for being a single parent.

Through the years, a handful of genuinely amazing people have given support and shown understanding (my parents are at the top of that list), but overall, I would give most of the people in our lives--family, friends, and fellow church members--fairly low scores when it comes to being supportive. Always assume that there is some way you can help a single-parent family; we always need something.

And so for those of you who read this who are looking for some sort of service project or opportunity to serve, look no further than the single-parent family in your own family, church, or neighborhood. I'll be making some suggestions occasionally for ways that you can help. Here are some summer-related ideas.

*While financial difficulties have not been a big problem for our family (there have been a few tough stretches), they often are an issue in single-parent families. Summer is a time when many families like to be outdoors or take part in special summer activities. Rather than just writing a check or handing over some cash, buy a gift card to a gas station, restaurant, or hotel franchise or a pass to an amusement park, swimming pool, sporting activity, or even a season pass to a beach or area park that charges entrance fees. Pass it on to a single-parent family so they can have some summer fun and make some memories.

*Invite a single-parent family to go on vacation with you. I know that while our family has had the financial means to take vacations, there have been other issues that make vacationing difficult. When the children were younger, I was reluctant to travel distances because of the potential problems that might occur if something should happen on the road. I'm still the only driver in the family, so again, that limits the distances I'm willing to travel by car. It can also be difficult to take children to busy places like amusement parks when you're the only adult to keep an eye on things. There are three of us, so it's difficult to go on rides, and it can be hard to watch two kids when there's only one adult (and that's especially scary at places like the beach where there is the potential for danger). And there is simply the companionship issue--you travel somewhere with two children, but there is no other adult to share the experience with. A vacation can be a lonely experience for a single parent and often not very restful.

*The easiest one of all--offer to watch the children so the single parent can get a break to do something summery fun for him or herself--play golf, go to the beach, go to a flea market, see a movie. While the kids are at your house, go through your summer hand-me-downs and see which ones will fit the visiting kids. It's also good for kids of single parent families to just be a part of a "normal family" setting. Meals, fun times, playing at the park--it's an entirely different dynamic, and a healthy one, to see how a family with two parents functions.

If you are looking to serve, you can provide a tremendous service to the single-parent family that you know. Be creative--there are probably even "smaller" ways than these suggestions that would be a huge blessing to a single parent.