A Valentine Story

It's Valentine's Day, and--I can't believe this is true--but the most romantic story I know of at the moment is the one I'm living. So in tribute to love, romance, and Hallmark holidays, this is our story.

Our story actually began about two years ago (I'm not sure exactly when) when my pastor asked if I would be interested in meeting someone. I was still recovering from the previous disappointing relationship, but I said sure. I had heard of Henry before--a couple of different times his name had come up as someone that I should meet--but to this point no one that we both knew had seemed really driven to bring us together. The prophetic words of one friend still ring in my mind: "The girl who gets Henry is really getting a good one!" Truer words were never spoken.

When Henry didn't call, I really didn't give it much thought, and if I did ever think about it, I was usually more relieved than anything that he hadn't called. I had decided that I had experienced enough disappointing relationships and had had enough of dating. I was putting the whole dating thing on hold until Katie and Jonathan had grown up and moved on. Then, when I would be the only one to experience the trauma, I might explore the whole thing again.

So honestly, when I picked up the phone on a July evening in 2006 and heard, "This is coming out of the blue. I'm a friend of your pastor's," I was almost a little disappointed. Since I didn't know why so much time had lapsed between my pastor's asking and Henry's calling, the thought that went through my head was that I had given my word some time ago, and I should probably just have dinner. What harm would it do? We'd go out a couple of times, and then Henry would decide that being a bachelor really was what he wanted to be, and the whole thing would become a memory that would fade quickly. (Later I was to find out that even though my pastor had talked to me months previously, he had only talked to Henry about a month before he actually called.)

So Henry picked me up that Saturday evening, and I was impressed. He brought me flowers, and we had dinner at Carabba's. He opened all doors for me and behaved in the most consistently gentlemanly way I've ever seen. I was impressed--not smitten--but impressed. I remember thinking that I enjoyed our conversation. And when he brought me home, he asked if I would be available to go out for dinner the next week. I was a little surprised. Usually the next step would be a meaningless offer to "call sometime." Here was someone who was willing, on the spot, to commit to next week. I actually wrote him a thank-you note for being such a gentleman. Such demeanor was rare in my experience.

And so we continued. Every week Henry would bring me home, and every week he would ask me if I was free the next week. And I (even though I wasn't always sure why) would agree to see him. The truth was that I was surprised that he wanted to continue to see me; I was even keeping track of the number of dates that we had gone on in my planner at work.

Probably a turning point for each of us came on Labor Day. It was a beautiful, end-of-the-summer day, and both Katie and Jonathan were busy doing their own things. I steeled my nerves, called Henry, and asked him if he'd like to have a picnic. He seemed glad to do so, so I picked up some sandwiches at Panera, drove to his house, and then we went to Palmer Park. When we were finished eating, he asked me if I'd like to go on a hike. I was a little hesitant since I wasn't really dressed for it with my shorts and cute sandals. We decided to take one of the less challenging trails, but somewhere along the way the signs with the arrows disappeared, and I found myself, cute sandals and all, up to my knees in mud. Always the gentleman, Henry cleaned off my sandals at the first opportunity. Both of us were bleeding--branches had cut our legs. But it was hilarious. I realized after that day that Henry was someone who knew how to have fun, and he said that he realized that I would be willing to follow him anywhere.

And so we continued. We both played it very low key. We didn't talk about our dating relationship to others much, and we didn't go to church functions together. We weren't trying to be secretive. I think we both had the sense that this was between the two of us, and whatever happened needed to happen between us first without the input of others. And I was careful to keep Katie and Jonathan uninvolved until I believed there was reason to involve them.

On Memorial Day 2007, I invited Henry over for a cookout. Things went well, and it was sometime around then that I started inviting him over on Sunday evenings. It was during the summer that our love began to grow and we began to realize that this was something that we both wanted to last. And the kids began to get to know him as we'd all sit out on the patio on warm Sunday evenings, talking and laughing and catching fireflies.

By the end of the summer, I think we both knew that things were pretty serious, and now it was a matter of biding our time. We did start attending church functions together, and people began to realize that we were a couple. In fact, when Henry and I attended a dinner together at his church, an older lady came up and hugged him when she saw that we were together because she was so happy for him. Henry is very popular with the older ladies in his church.

And so on December 21, 2007, after almost a year and a half of dating, on an evening when we were celebrating Henry's birthday, he presented me with an engagement ring as we sat on the couch in his living room. He asked me to marry him, and of course I said yes. To this day--unless something unusual comes up--he brings me roses every week. We go to dinner on Friday nights, and we always will. I continue to marvel at what an excellent man he is, and I continue to ask God to make me into a wife that always brings Henry joy and provides true help as a blessing to him.

It isn't a dramatic love story, and no movie executives are offering us a contract for it. In the eyes of the world, easing into love as we did is not nearly as exciting as falling in. But since God wrote our story, it's a pretty good one, and I'm anxious to see how the plot will continue to develop.