I have asked this question many times in recent years about a variety of things, but it reared its head again as I observed acquaintances (thankfully, by God's grace, not me this time) struggle through the hurts and disappointments of broken dating relationships. And the most basic answer I can come up with is that many of us are single as a result of sin--not necessarily our own but that same sin that results in disease, poverty, pain, and the general ills of this life. Some of us are single because of an unwanted divorce or because a spouse has died. So we find ourselves in this unnatural situation--a situation we wouldn't be in were it not for sin in this world. And then we must learn how to redeem it.
And so we find ourselves struggling through, learning lessons through experience that we never dreamed we'd have to learn. In our own sin--the sin of impatience, selfishness, covetousness, and discontentedness--we hurt ourselves and others, until we learn to accept the advice of Tom Griffiths, as quoted in Quest for Love: True Stories of Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot:
"My advice to singles who want to marry is: hang on. Don't despair of God's resources, so infinitely greater than ourselves. Don't limit His capacity to bring a mate out of nowhere, when the pool of candidates seems small and hopeless. Don't chafe at Scripture's stress on waiting to know God's will in this matter. He has a will for you, whether you follow it or not. When you get ahead of God and try to force things, the consequences are often tragic. The statistics tell the tale; so do the personal cases we all hear of misfired romances and wretched marriages."
God is faithful and true, and He will provide what we need. If we don't have a spouse, it must be that because, for right now, that is not what we need. When we learn the difference between need and want, we can truly say, "He also preserves me in such a way that without the will of my heavenly Father not a hair can fall from my head; indeed, all things must work together for my salvation."
3 comments:
Yay Annette,
This of course applies to more than spouses. I appreciate the reminder that God provides what we need!
Ah yes! Quoting Lord's Day 10 of the Heidelberg Catechism! But also, some of us are single because that's what God says is best for us. Let's not forget---not everyone is intended to be married. If they were, then the ratio would be 1:1. But, if it's God's will that people are single, then so be it. We must be content with that.
BTW----LD 10 of the Heidelberg Catechism is one of my favorites---after LD 1, of course! But I like the 1959 translation better.
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